Editor's Box Jeffery Barwick [email protected] Assistant Editor

Reflections of an expectant father

As a 20 year old father-to-be there are many things running through my head. How did this happen to me? What am I going to do? What if I am not going to be a good father? How am I going to go to school and work to support my family?

At first, all of these things were overwhelming, but over time it all fell into place. The first two months I was freaking out, with these questions running through my head it seemed that I was going to go crazy. However, with a very supportive family to talk to, all of these fears dissipated with time.

I have realized that I really should not have worried if I am going to be a good father to my child. Everybody has it in him to be a good parent. The problem is not that everybody tries hard enough to find that "good parent" hidden within. I have noticed over the months that my being concerned with my girlfriend's weight gain, the baby's movement and all the other fun stuff involved during pregnancy indicates that I am going to be a good father.

Now that there is only a month and a half left before the baby arrives the question of school and work is reappearing. Having a baby is extremely expensive, and there is stress caused by the thought that I don't want to have to depend upon my family for money. Even with a planned pregnancy these questions still run through the heads of the expecting parents. Pregnancy can either break or make a relationship.

There are two things you can possibly do: either buckle under pressure and stress, which ultimately destroys the relationship, or work together and be open about your feelings, which will in the end strengthen the relationship.

I say to all the fathers-to-be, to hell with being "strong." If you do not show your partner that you are struggling just as much as she is,then she is going to think that she is weak and not going to be a good mother.

Women, just like men, struggle with the same thoughts and feelings, and they need reassurance that they are not in this alone and that the father is feeling the same way.