Bourne with an Opinion

Inside April 22, 2003's Issue

-Opinions-

House of Thought

Letters to the Editor

Bourne with an opinion

Bible belief provides support of U.S. troops

By Jason Bourne
Staff Writer

In a previous issue of the SMP I said that I felt that war is a wrong solution to what has transpired since Sept. 11.

However, after reading the Bible story of David and Goliath I now know that Jesus Christ will be behind our troops and President Bush while we are fighting the war against Saddam and Osama.

I still do not think we necessarily had to go to war against Osama and Saddam. I think that we should have confiscated all of the nuclear weapons that Saddam and Osama have in their possession. I also think we need to take Saddam, Osama and their followers into custody and make them rot in jail for the terror they have inflicted on the world in the past decade.

I think we should also send Osama and Saddam to the electric chair so they will not be able to terrorize the world ever again.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not a big supporter of the electric chair, but when my safety and the safety of my friends and family are involved, I want everything possible done to ensure our utmost safety.

I know most of you are thinking, “How are we going to capture them if we can’t find them?” I have wondered this myself, but just stay with me, and I’ll attempt an answer.

I believe we need to have about 500 additional black hawk helicopters patrolling the skies above Iraq and Afghanistan to see if they can find Osama and Saddam.

I also think we need to send more ground troops over there with tear gas so they can smoke Osama and Saddam out of their little hiding spots like Ernest T. Bass smokes out an opossum on the “Andy Griffith Show.”

If by some chance we do not find them this way, we can send the mighty Georgia Highlands College geese over and have them hunt for the terrorist masterminds.

If by chance we do capture the terrorists, I think we need to have them flown to Georgia Highlands College’s main campus and have THEM terrorized for a change by the FC geese.

I guarantee they won’t terrorize Rome, Georgia. I bet they don’t even join archery class!!

But let’s remember that whatever the United States does, that Jesus Christ will be watching over the troops and will bring them home safe. Let’s go get ‘em boys!!

By the way, I wonder what fried Osama and Saddam tastes like? Chicken, maybe? Or rabbit?