Happy is as happy does
Through My Eyes
By Jason Sapp
[email protected]
Staff Writer 
I always liked
hearing the line
�Don't worry, be
happy.�The phrase
was even made
into a song. This is
a great perspective
on how to live
life. However, like
most catch phrases, this is much
harder to apply in the real world.
There have been countless
books, seminars and motivational
speakers claiming that they can
teach you the way to truly be
happy. The truth is that there is
only one person that can do that.
It is YOU and only YOU!
Life is the most extreme and
exhilarating roller coaster we will
ever ride. The peaks are really
high and valleys are really low.
Your feelings go much like the
twists and turns of a roller coaster
as the mind tries to deal with internal
struggles and emotions.
If most people are like me,
then they experience these types
of highs and lows daily. It is normal
because that is a part of life.
The challenge arises when we let
these emotions and feelings consume
much of our time, leaving
us tired and upset.
Lately I have felt like I have
been in a huge rut. I worked really
hard on a scholarship that I
thought I had in the bank. I was
devastated when I didn't even
make it to the second round. As a
result, I spent a week moping and
whining to anyone who would listen.
I am now using my column to
whine to you about it. However, I
am using the above as an example
to illustrate an identifiable concept
that can be used daily toward
becoming happier and living a
better life.
Another favorite saying of
mine is �Cry and you cry alone,
laugh and the world laughs with
you.� Here is the idea behind being
emotionally strong and living
your life zestfully. Some events are
truly traumatic and one needs
therapeutic help to get over them.
However, many events that we
allow to upset us for long periods
of time can be dealt with effectively.
There are three parts to this
technique.
The first part I discovered in a
book once and thought it was ridiculous.
As I have grown older
and more mature I have found out
that it is amazingly true. Here it
is. You can't always control what
happens to you in life, but you can
learn to control your emotions concerning
those events.
The idea is that the event and
the emotional feeling linked to
that event are two different entities.
Does this mean that you will
never be sad, angry, disappointed
or depressed ever again? No, of
course not. These are built-in human
emotions and we will feel this
way and others at certain times
in our life.
But don't let those negative
emotions control your life for long
periods of time. Learn to feel them,
then try to recognize why the
event made you feel that way and
then release those emotions.
I used the above technique
myself. After stepping outside of
my own emotions, I realized that
the fact that I didn't get the scholarship
was the event. As a result I
let this event make me doubt my
self worth and make me feel miserable
for a week. When I recognized
the event and my emotions
about the event were different
entities, I then acknowledged to
myself that I am a smart, strong
willed and hardworking individual.
If they didn't want me, I
would go out and find a scholarship
that would.
The second part sounds a little
wacky but keep an open mind.
Anytime you have a conversation
with yourself there are several
voices inside your head that debate
back and forth. Pay attention
the next time you try to make
a decision and listen to your mind.
The voices are there. The voice
that makes the most sense to you
at a point in time is the one you
listen to and allow you to experience
the emotional feeling at that
point in time.
The next
step in this
technique is to
control that inner
negative
voice inside
your mind.
When you have
a negative experience,
this voice starts ranting
and raving inside your mind. It
tries to talk much louder so that
you can't hear the other voices
that tell you everything is going
to be okay. You have to tell that
negative voice very strongly to
SHUT UP AND GO AWAY! After
you do this you will be able to start
feeling better.
The third part you know by
heart and have heard over and
over in your life. Alone it does not
work, but combine it with the
above factors and it will. Norman
Vincent Peale in �The Power of
Positive Thinking� wrote that in
times of crisis you need to remember
all of your intangible assets
like good health, a good job, a good
school, good friends and family.
Bad things will happen to good
people, so by realizing all that you
have going for you makes it easier
to cope with this current event.
Sometimes, when I feel bad I remember
all that I have going for
me. Then, I also recognize the
people in life that have real problems
so that mine seem trivial.
After really seeing how lucky I am,
I can't help but feel better.
Fail a test? It will be okay. You
will do better next time. Wrecked
your car? After feeling upset remember
that at least everyone is
okay. Have a fight with a parent,
sibling or significant other? Focus
on how much you really love them.
The next time something bad
happens or doesn't go your way,
remember this article. After you
calm down, step back and analyze
your emotions. Separate the event
and your emotions and then release
those emotions. Next, tell
your internal negative voice to
leave you alone. Finally, remember
all the wonderful things you
have going for you in your life.
Recognize that life is great. Give
this a try and it will work. Remember,
as the song says, �Don't worry,
be happy.�
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